Legs swimming in butter

Today I took the ball-of-fire for his yearly swimming lessons. This is the third year we've taken him, even though we're not big swimmers. It's something we both did when we were kids and to date, we haven't drowned. So we thought it would be a good idea for the two-year-old as well.

While I was donning my (stupid, hateful) bathing suit, Nathan ran over and wrapped his arms around my thigh and said, "I love your big legs."

Did he just call me fat?

"Son, I don't have big legs."

"Yeah! Big legs, momma has big legs!" (Oh God, stop saying it!)

"Nathan, do you think momma has fat legs?

"No way, momma has fat boobies."

I'm never eating again.