It would be an understatement to say that when you enter the world of "alternative health therapies" you will encounter some interesting people.
As a student, I am more interested in the researched and supported health benefits of massage. The release of pressure points, redistribution of fluids and toxin, the inevitable cellular change that results of a theraputic massage -- that intrigues me. The mystical flow of your chi from your asshole to the all-knowing diety of assholes -- I could care less. But, as I said, they are intrinsically linked.
Yesterday during a massage class, our teacher noticed that we were getting a little tired from our repeated exertions. In order to encourage us, she gave us a visualization. "Imagine you have a golden goblet in your heart," she said. "Now imagine the goblet is filling full of shining, shimmering love and that love pours out of the goblet and down your arms into your fingertips and you shower love on your client."
I sat up and looked at my fellow student who was practicing her moves on my sore shoulder at the time.
"Just shut up," she said. And pushed my head back down.
But before I resumed my prone position, I muttered ... "and winged fairies will fly out of your ass and lift you to the heavens."
Turns out the teacher was standing right next to me. I don't think she thought it was too funny.
Ooops! That damn inner monologue!
3 comments:
I sold my limited edition golden goblet on ebay. Still no bids on the winged ass fairies though.
The inner monologue thing will get you every time. I'll bet there's been some major inner monologue goofs through history.
Rush Limbaugh and his idiotic comments about Michael J. Fox comes to mind. Then there's Bush's "Fool me once...you...fool me...you won't get fooled again."
I have a propensity for this act. I'll never forget the time I was driving along with the exwife and she asked me who was the most beautiful woman I had ever dated. Daydreaming, I answered. Unfortunately the name I blurted out wasn't her.
Rarely does something I read make me laugh out loud. This was one of the exceptions:
"The mystical flow of your chi from your asshole to the all-knowing diety of assholes"
It has been a long day and I needed a good laugh. (I keep re-reading and laughing =) Thanks a ton.
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