This morning as I was getting ready, I laid out a nice blue shirt that I bought before I had the ball of fire. It's a cute little shirt with this silver circle at the top of the neck line, set in the cloth.
I put it on, but it just didn't look right. I pulled at it a little. Adjusted the neck. Stretched it out using my bed post for leverage. Nothing.
What the hell?
Then I noticed it, the scourage of child birth and getting older. My breasts have slipped .. a little ... ok ... more like four inches! Once upon a time, that little silver circle sat right at the top of my cleavage. WTF!!
I know who I am. I will never be Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill Vol. II when she gets out of that firebird wearing those pencil-thin black pants with her legs that stretch up to her neck and that perfect ass carrying a case of cash and a black mamba. I am short, with curly hair and some junk in my trunk. But I have always had great breasts. At least until now.
In my despair I did what all women in crisis do, I went to the mall. Specifically I needed a new sexy, lacy bra from Victoria's Secret to make me feel better. I had a gift card, and the ball of fire.
We didn't make it very far. This boy will become a man who loves breasts. He fondled every bra in that place, and a few pairs of panties that were not more than strips of elastic.
Finally I said, "Son, you are not very fun to shop with!"
He replied, "I know. You're not very fun either." He had me there.
No bra. Damn! The sag continues...
4 comments:
Oh, the joy of motherhood!! I remember when my large mams used to salute everyone they encountered and were perky enough to cover up the bitchy attitude I sometimes had. Nowadays, the size is the same, but they are not-so-perky anymore. Sometimes I look at them in the mirror and give them a little lift, just to make them happy again. I keep asking for a boob lift every year for christmas, but to no avail, I am still asking.
I feel your pain sis - Normally, on the left I have a full C cup - but on the right - an A cup. Now that I am pregnant my full C is now a full D and growing all the time. The tiny righty... still an A.
UGH!
Carie, you had big perky boobs for a long time. Let's relish the memories....
So true...they are still a good novelty for the random drunken nite or a good Mardi Gras weekend :)
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