Spam a lot

I received a great e-mail from Patti Smith today. Contrary to what you might expect, it didn't invite me to an intimate performance of her work, or to discuss the insanity of our current administration or the Iraq war. But rather to inquire about the size of my penis.

Ok, so it was spam. But I like to pay attention to my spam. I think you can see trends in the messages.

For example, for the longest time, presecrption drugs were the theme of spam. Viagara in particular. And while penile enhancement and weight loss are still the rage, I've noticed a lot more plugs for quick, easy loans, fast cash or -- my personal favorite -- gift cards to Best Buy or Old Navy.

Subject lines are always a treat as well. They range from "2 girls in bed, both shocked" and "I've got a 12-inch penis" to "Loose weight while you sleep" or the ever-popular "My euphrates is burnside."

My favorite slipped through the spam guard recently. It was from someone with a name I know, but to whom I no longer keep in touch. So needless to say, I was suprised to see an e-mail from them. But it was the subject line that flicked my bick. "I've had enough of your bullshit!"

What the...? Had enough of my bullshit? We haven't talked in how long and you've had enough of MY bullshit!? Ok, so I was a little pissed.

Then I opened the e-mail. "Aloha! You've won the opportunity to enjoy a 3-night stay in Hawaii! Just click on the link below so we can steal your identity ... blah, blah, blah."

I promptly laughed out loud and dubbed this THE best spam e-mail EVER!

I have no intention of deactivating my spam guard, or anything crazy like that, but I sure do enjoy a good spam now and then.

I must also admit, I'm still a little concerned about that 12-inch penis. Why in the hell would you ever ...?