Memoir fervor

I'm working on an article for a newsletter about working with difficult people -- a topic I know a lot about. I'm often afraid that I AM the difficult person at work and I don't realize it. I say this because every job I've had seems to include some gigantic asshole (usually a female) who seems out to subvert everything I do or say.

No kidding, at one job for a large national insurance association, the president of the company actually thought I was writing secret notes about her during a meeting. I'm a fucking writer! It's my job to take notes, which I then turn into stories. I showed her everything I had written down, none of which disparged her in the least, but that was just the beginning of my troubles there.

I once had a heart to heart with my close friend and mentor, VT, about whether I was inviting this kind of trouble and in fact, I was the difficult co-worker. She assured me that I am the perfectly lovely, charming and attractive person I perceived myself to be, but I have trouble with other aggressive women. No shit.

So when I decided to pick the topic of difficult co-workers, it made me start thinking about the job turns I've taken in the past few years. Well, that just depressed me.

My husband has suggested once or twice that I should write a memoir about my experiences as an aggressive woman butting heads with other aggressive women. So instead of researching my story (due tomorrow, but whatever), I started doing some research on memoirs.

I ran across a funny little story on Nerve.com that caught my eye. I'm a fan of Nerve, even though it's geared toward sexually forward singles and not curvy (read: chubby) mothers in their mid-30s. But I refuse to let a little thing like a "label" stand in my way of my fun.

The article is about a memoir by a man who decided to live Biblically for a year. Interesting concept in and of itself. But it was a comment he made about attitude that caught my eye.

Your behavior shapes your thoughts. Because I was acting like a good person by not gossiping, I had fewer negative thoughts about people. I don't think it's the only solution and I don't think it's right for everyone, but the catchphrase "deed affects creed" was true for me, even down to something as trivial as my wardrobe.

Now that's something I can hold on to. If I think positively about my job, which I really like conicidentally, then I will keep liking it. I can do that.

But if I concentrate hard enough, will I be able to initiate unexplained spontaneous combustion in those bitches who pissed me off? Now that's something to work toward!