Distracted living

There is a big push in Missouri -- and at work -- this month to curb distracted driving.

Distracted driving is the leading cause of traffic crashes in Missouri and nationwide, attributing for 27.6% of all Missouri traffic crashes in 2008. One such distraction: texting while driving.

On Aug. 28, 2009, Missouri passed a law that prohibited drivers under 22 from sending, reading or writing an electronic message. Multiple bills have been filed for the 2010 Missouri Legislative season that would make texting illegal for all drivers, regardless of age.

It's an initiative I support. However, I think if you are a responsible person at all, you should know that trying to type on a tiny keyboard while cruising at 80 is a stupid idea. But alas, it's the the stupid ones that seem to survive again and again. Kinda like the roaches and the nuclear holocaust theory.

I try to be level-headed about my cell phone in the car. I have been known to text while driving but generally I hold off.

There is one distraction I cannot give up. No matter how hard I try. No matter what I do. It's always there, lurking in the back seat, taunting me, baiting me to look. And he happens to be 6 so he is also bad about flailing.

Truthfully if you want me to be safer on the road, they need to install child restraints AND a sound proof barrier between the seats. Take, for example, today, shortly after school pick up.

He: "Mom, I'm hungry."

Me: "Ok, we are headed to the grocery store but I have a snack..."

He: "NO! I hate your snacks! I want a hamburger!"

Me: "Uh..."

He: "Hamburger AND fries AND soda. I'm starving!"

Me: "Buu..."

He:"YouneverhaveanythinggoodtoeatandI'mstarvingandIcan'tgotothestorewithagrowlytummyandIwantmyDS!"

Me: "I have gold fish in my pur..."

He: "I want them!! I need them now!!"

Me: "Wait until we get..."

(sound of seatbelt unbuckling..)

He: "I'll get it!!"

Me: "No, sit down... WAH!! Why are you climbing into the seat!"

(swerve sharply to the left and grab shifter as he kicks it into neutral)

Me: "Buckle up this instant!"

He: "I can't get this open, openitopenitopenitopenit!!!"

(At this point, contemplate driving into a building just to have some peace and quiet)

Me: "We are almost at the sto..." (Bag of goldfish shoved in front of eyes)

Me: "FINE, FINE!! GIVE THEM TO ME AND STOP TALKING!!!!!!!!"

(rip open bag with teeth, flinging gold fish all over car, careen into grocery parking and jam on brakes before hitting parked car.)

He: "Oh, are we here already? Can I just get a snack here?"

Motherfu---