Word of the day

Circumlocution (sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn) noun -- The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language.

When used, it sounds like this: Because you will be offering products, it is important that you and your associates have awareness and understanding of how these laws and regulations affect you.

Ummm...

See also: Presidential debate.

Weary

I cannot be the only person who is already tired of the 2008 elections. We put a moratorium on speeches, articles, news updates, etc. that have anything to do with the candidates at our house. It's no longer open for discussion.

Let me state for the record, I love democracy. I vote, for everything. I am ready for a woman president, I don't think it will be Hillary, but I am still ready. I like Obama. I would/will vote for him.

However, I am so sick of them already. And if the GOP hadn't shit on enough people, now you have idiots like Rush Limbaugh asking listeners to marr the democratic process. And for what purpose? To prove that it's already marred? Newsflash: We know it is. Just let it run its course so we can get rid of the shrub and get on with our lives.
In recent weeks, conservative talk radio stars Rush Limbaugh and Laura Ingraham have urged loyal listeners to vote for the much-despised Clinton in open Democratic primaries so as to prevent Obama from sealing the nomination, and there are some indications that their calls have already been heeded in states like Texas and Mississippi.

"I want our party to win. I want the Democrats to lose," Limbaugh said. "They're in the midst of tearing themselves apart right now. It is fascinating to watch. And it's all going to stop if Hillary loses."

Debatable content

I did not join the other 15 or so people who watched the recent Republican debate. I don't care who they pick, chances are very good I will not vote Republican.

However, the highlight article on Salon.com is fabulous. I wish all the debates were this easy to digest.

"(Colorado Rep. Tom) Tancredo gets a question about whether the other candidates are soft on immigration. This is his issue. He is ready to answer. But just as he does, something goes wrong with one of the Fox cameras. The screen gets a red haze over it. With his pasty face, the red light makes Tancredo look for a moment like Satan."

This is just the beginning of what I will officially dub "the fucker parade" until we finally annouce the new fucker in '08. At this point I'm just praying for a fucker that I don't hate.

Homeland security

I sit in my living room -- lights off-- quivering in terror. I hear the phone ringing again and I know it's him.

I dread the sound of his voice on my answering machine, but there it is, chilling me to the bone with his intonation. He wheedles and begs me to do as he asks. But I cannot.

I have tried to dispel this attraction -- to end his fascination. Still he calls. Still he pleads. I fear for my safety in my own home. And if I get one more, just one more call, I may go insane. For how many times can Newt Gingrich call my house before he realizes I'm a fucking DEMOCRAT!

Seriously, eight voicemails yesterday from assholes wanting my vote. Are you kidding me? The Department of Homeland Security can listen to my phone calls anytime they want if I utter the words "bomb" "Allah" or "Bush is a dumbass" but they cannot prevent my systematic stalking by Newt Gingrich.

I believe this is a new kind of terror -- terror for the contentious voting era -- telephone manipulation.

Didn't George Orwell predict this?