While I'm not proud of my clumsy tendnecies, they are part of who I am and make up all the charm that is Michele.
However, today I think I entered the realm of queen of klutz.
Picture this: I was enjoying a moment of respite while the ball-of-fire was napping so I took a hot, lathery shower (keep it clean, pervs) and decided to shave my legs. I'm bent over, shaving like mad, when suddenly I notice a thin stream of blood on my upper thigh. No biggie, I tend to nick myself now and then (or every fucking time, whatever).
I check my knees, no nicks. Check the ankle bones, no nicks. Nothing on the shin. What the fuck? Where is this blood coming from?
I stand up and suddenly notice a streak of blood on my left nipple. Yes, gentle readers, in my zealous quest for smoother-than-human legs, I nicked my nipple!
Now I know you're thinking to yourself -- or at least my friend Dawn is -- how the hell do you nick a nipple while shaving your legs. And the answer is, I have no idea!! What I do know is that it bled like a stuck pig.
I finished my shower and wrapped in a towel and tried to figure out a way to staunch the now life-threatening (No shit, it was a lot of blood) stream of blood. I snatched a box of band-aids from the cabinet only to find them ... empty. I rummaged around and pulled out the two-year old's favorite brand, slapped one on and left the bathroom.
As I was getting dressed, I caught a glimpse of the injured mammery in the mirror -- and laughed out lou
d. While a nicked nipple is not usually a laughing matter, you can't help but giggle when you find your nipple sporting a smart Superman band-aid. That's just funny, I don't care who you are!
4 comments:
I was going to make some "sagging" comment, but nevermind.
Look... up in the sky... it's a bird... it's a plane...
ITS A NIPPLE!
lmao, almost 2 yrs to the day later I've done the exact same thing! Except I was shaving my underarms not my legs.. and its soo damn painful too!! Which is why I googled it and found your blog!!
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