Looky lou

I had a great rant all ready about those stupid ribbon bumper stickers which have spun out of control in their uselessness, but my brother-in-law took it. So instead I have prepared a serious discussion on car antics.

Why do people assume that once they are alone in their car, that no one can see them? It's almost like a child who puts his hand to his eyes and says, "You can't see me!" Yes, dumbass, just because your window is up doesn't mean we can't see you.

Before I continue, an admission -- I sing loudly and have been known to dance when I'm driving in the car. If you happen to be one of the unfortunates on westbound 470 at 8 a.m. Tuesday through Thursday, you can witness my flutter-hand dancing for yourself. It's very 80s and I don't care.

Snce entering the working/commuting world, I have seen some interesting things taking place in a car: nose picking, make-up application, shaving, teeth brushing, breastfeeding (of babies!), reading, blow job giving/receiving and one sad attempt at sex.

Recently I saw a new one that is now my all-time favorite, chin hair plucking.

I have to say, I don't understand this one completely. I am a natural red head and have a strong Irish heritage. In otherwords, I border on hairless. Other than the mop of purple on my head, I draw on my eyebrows, get by with shaving every two days and my arm hair is just rather sad. I have never had a facial hair issue.

But this poor woman must have had enough facial hair for all. I have never seen anyone pluck soo much on one area. I paced her for at least 10 blocks and at every stop light, out came the tweasers and the poor thing went to plucking. Do you think it was one difficult hair, or a month's worth?

She finally pulled into the parking lot of a local grocery chain. I wondered if she was there on her lunch hour for a bleaching cream, new tweasers or possibly a high-powered (air quotes) lazer (end air quotes) to rid herself of her yeti ancestory.

Since that event, my expectations for car antics are at a new high. The occassional random handjob just won't do it anymore. I think the only thing that will top that might be a bikini wax in the back seat.

I'll keep my eyes peeled!