I'll take mine with lumps

On Monday I noticed that the ball of fire had this unusual lump right above his inside ankle bone on his right foot. He had been playing at a friend's house that morning so I called KW and asked if he had tripped, bumped or fallen on his foot while he was there. I believed if he had hurt his ankle, he would have cried for hours, wailing and nashing his teeth. No such incident had occured.

I also noticed that he had a few hives on his arm. Hmmm... Now I was worried.

We were expecting more than 30 friends with children in a few hours for a Memorial Day party and the pediatric office was closed, so I dosed him with Benedryl and let him play.

But I stewed about it. In fact, I made all the mommies look at it and one well-read health teacher/coach. We all had different theories about the lump but none of them made me feel better.

Before he went to be, I dosed him again. And I had terrible nightmares all night long.

What is it about mommy guilt? It's oppressive, demanding and neverending. I had several dreams that he went into anaphylactic shock from the spider bite on his leg (because that is what it MUST be) and died chocking on his own vomit. I dreamed that his heart was racing and he had a heart attack -- at 3 years old. And then I dreamed he swelled up from being overdosed with Benedryl and his lungs filled with fluid.

OH. GOOD. GOD!

In the morning, I decided to take him to the pediatric urga-care because for the love of all that is holy, it must be a tumor and we must take evasive action before it's too late.

I paid my soul-sucking $40 co-pay, waited in the waiting room for 20 minutes and another 10 in the examination room.

Finally, the doctor arrived. I explained the problem, trying not to sound desperate, at the end of my rope, oh-god-please-save-my-baby!

She listened to his heart, looked at his hives, examined his ears, peeked down his throat and pushed around on the lump.

"He's having an interesting reaction to a mosquito bite."

Excuse me, what?

"A mosquito bite. That's also why he has hives. He's having an extreme reaction to a bite."

"Ok," I replied. "So does he need a histamine shot or somethting? Should I be concerned with his throat swelling or anything?"

"Oh no, just use some corisone cream and he'll be fine, you stupid, overreacting fucked up moron." (Alright, so I ad-libbed that last part, but she had a look on her face that I didn't care for.)

"Wait, I just paid $40 to stop in here. And since he doesn't have a tumor, can you give him a once-over and maybe a shot or two?"

Thankfully, she laughed at that one. She checked him over and declared him perfectly healthy.

As we were leaving, I noticed that his left foot turns out a little when he skipped to the car. My God, he needs theraputic shoes! He'll be crippled for life if we don't correct it right away!

I called and made a appointment as soon as we got home.