We could be lovers

I have a secret to confess: A love affair that has consumed me, forcing me to sneak around and cheat. But it's too powerful. I can't deny my attraction, my obsession with the sweetness of it all.

In fact, I've decided that I must have it, regardless of what it costs me. It's a hefty obsession too. Especially in the whole "ass" area.

The hubby's youngest brother is getting married in September. Up until recently, I was the only family member not included in the wedding party, which was fine with me. Even the ball of fire was snagged for a "ring beary" -- and oh, the potential for disaster there boggles the mind, but back to my ass.

A few weeks ago the future SIL asked me to help my niece J light the candles. Sure, of course, no problem. I'll do anything you need me to do.

And then I started thinking about it. My niece is 16, blonde, tan, gorgeous and about 100 pounds soaking wet. In fact, my tits weigh more than this child. Seriously, I cannot walk down the aisle in matching dresses with Ms. pixie dust. Something has to be done. At least 15 pounds must disappear. I must have the hint of a waist or things will not go well.

I've made a dedicated effort to attend a strength training class, eat much, much less and tonight I'm trying a new class that is simply labeled "boot camp." Oh good God...

I'm starting to fear that my secret lover and I will have to finally end our decadant relationship. Why must you always hurt the ones you love?

I worry that this sacrifice will lead to much bigger problems in my life. I will finally have to come to terms with -- and admit to my family -- my need for chocolate coffee drinks outside the home. I don't know how the hubby is going to take it.