It seems like my girlfriends and I spend a lot of time discussing guys. Round and round: What we like, what we don't like, why we like it. It's probably one of our favorite topics.
It would be ridiculous except for the fact that we all LOVE guys. It's true. We love men. We like the way the smell, the way they make us feel, the enthusiasm they generate. But damnit, they are so frustrating sometimes.
Lately, I find myself in a position of counselor to some friends with man trouble. Frankly, I am just very good at it. And it generates some of, in my opinion, the best of my writing skills:
Me: "I think he's a giant fuck bag. But I'm a bitch that way."
She: "I've come to realize that most guys are 'a-holes' (why a-hole is in quotes, I just can't say) and I should just learn to accept it. After seeing what my other friends went through ... things could be a lot worse for me."
Me: "Guys are like pickles. They start as cucumbers, then they soak in vinegar for a while. That's when they finally figure out what they are made of. If you're lucky, sometimes you get sweet pickle. But mostly you get JERKins.
Ok, how fucking awesome is that analogy? Seriously, it's going on my blog!"
4 comments:
I didn't know you had girls. In fact, my first thought was that 'girls' was a pet name for your breasts. And that you three discussed men. And that lefty likes right-handed men. Unless the man comes from behind.
Damn, didn't think of that. I have been known to use "girls" as a term of endearment for my lovely lady lumps.
I might have to make a post script.
is it really pronounced "jerkins?" i've always said "gerkins," with a hard g.
huh.
It is gerkins, I'm just expressing my postive bitch power!
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