When opportunity e-mails

So I'm clicking the links to my favorite bloggers, posted right, and I flip over to the Foo Fighter's blog. Now bear with me, please. I know you've heard about my Foo love many times. I concede. I'm obsessed.

I click to read the latest entry and ... pause for dramatic effect .... it's from DAVE! Whee! He never puts anything on this site. It's usually Chris and he thinks he's funny, and well, he's not.

I notice that at the top of the blog, Dave's name is hotlinked. I clicked the link, assuming I would float over to his bio or something. Suddenly my Microsoft Outlook comes alive. Oh God, help me, I can e-mail him!!

My mind is racing. What to say, what to say? Of course, I'm not so delusional that I believe Dave Grohl answers this e-mail account. But still, my chance to send him a message via an intern, who passes it to the Web master, who passes it to the IT manager, who passes it to the PR manager, who passes it to Dave's agent who MIGHT pass it to Dave.

The key is not to sound crazy, right?

Dear Dave, (so far, so good)

I have been a fan of yours for many years. I truly enjoy your work and look forward to each new album.

Last night, while I was touching myself.. (Wait. Not a good idea. Scratch that.)

Last night, I had a dream you came to my house in a red g-string and black socks. (Ok, stop. Also bad idea. FUCK, what to say?)

I will attend your upcoming show in St. Louis. I cannot wait to show you my tits. (Is that bad?)

I named my vibrator after you because you kick ass! Keep rocking!

Love,
Your No. 1 Fan
Michele

Yeah, that's pretty good!