….in which we learn to hate online dating

It is not easy being 40 and single. My days of clubbing and random bar pick-ups are long gone. And truth be told, it was never my thing even then.

How does an educated grown woman meet like-minded single men? Enter online dating … and then promptly exit stage left.

I did the free profile option for a popular matching site, which shall remain nameless.

Chaos.

Ok, maybe chaos is a little strong, but that is how it felt.

My first indication that I had made an error came in the form of an e-mail from the site itself.

It said: “He e-mailed you. Could he be the one?”

The one? Are you freaking kidding me? Am I teenager in a Twilight novel? Does he sparkle in the sunlight?

News flash, I AM the one. I am my knight in shining armor. I complete me. I just want a nice someone to compliment that.

The flood gates opened. Despite my preferences for income, college education, height/weight ratio, it seemed that every breathing male on this site e-mailed me -– at once.

I shut it down within 24 hours.

I’m sure there is some magic formula to make these sites work in your favor. I have seen friends and family find successful relationships this way. I apparently need to do more research. In the meantime, it’s back to my fall back plan: country bars and AA meetings.

You just never know. He might just sparkle in the sunlight after all.