Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Scar tissue

I am not one to bemoan my fate. I posted on this blog about my recent surgeries and did my best to make light of the issues. But truth be told, I am having a hard time with it.

Last week's hives were the harebinger of apparently more hives, a swollen tongue and the promise that it "usually gets worse before it gets better." I was issued the hospital safety standard, the epipen and told to stick in my thigh when I felt my throat close. I've been feeling it close every day since.

Hives are problematic by themselves, but trying to find the cause for them has become a chase for a hidden monster in the dark with no flashlight. Anything and everything can cause hives, except water. So that's about my diet at this point. Water. And apples. And the occassional bannana when the ball of fire will let me have one.

I am the first to admit I'm a control freak. Everything in my life is controled to some degree -- even if I've simply convinced myself it's controled. The lack of control, or the feeling that something else is controlling me, is eating me alive.

There are blood tests to try, simplified diets to follow and waiting. Until then, the most common answer is that my body has just undergone too much stress in too short of a time. Apparently, I need to stop telling my body it's better and let it actually decide on its own. I had to give up my glorious trip to Rome, which I was sure would cure me of all my ills.

In the meantime, it's pedialyte popsicles and more time with my mom -- who just so happens to have extensive training using an epipen.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, man. That really sucks. I am really sorry the body is not bouncing back better. Giving up the trip to Rome is just insult to injury. I'll send up an extra prayer for you. I hope you get to feeling better soon. =(

Take care. =)

Anonymous said...

Poor thing! I know how you feel. It sucks to not know what you are allergic to. Last year, my throat swelled shut at an anniversary dinner that we attended. We decided that it was the mixed nuts, but couldn't figure out which nut. Later I found out that it was Brazil nuts, but it took a long time to figure it out.

Sorry to hear about your trip! I hope you get better soon! Tell your mom I said Hi!

Anonymous said...

Did the surgeons screw up and leave some tool or hunk of gauze inside you that they weren't supposed to?

Never know these days...

Hope you feel better soon; sorry about Rome. You can always "roam" over here with the BoF if you want. I'm sure Heather would love to see him (and you, too).

Anonymous said...

I am soooo sorry that the trip was canceled. I know how much you were looking forward to it. But that last thing that you would want would be hospitalized in another country.

Peace and prayers,
anon